TX vs. NYC

Day one of 2006. Ah, well.

Instead of starting law school five months ago, I decided to postpone the whole ordeal because I wasn't certain of whither went me. (Also, I bet dollars to dingdongs that I could get a better LSAT.) So now, I have only to decide whether to whoosh off to the big appleton where I will be up to my halo in debt and metropolis thrills or play it homefries and stay in Texas. There are a zillion complications to consider.

On any given day, my resolve hardens and I decide "Yes, that's it. I've made up my mind and everything I thought before was poppycock. It will definitely be NY/TX." Today as I read Molly Ivins, I was wildly convinced of how much work needs to be in Texas, how this state is a hellhole for a good progressive who believes the greatest investment our government can make is in education. I also fear for the millions of poor laborers that don't have a cot to collapse in (among many other things). I should do what I can to exact change, I think to myself. Then I begin to get the drunk-on-messianic-fantasies hiccups.

Other times I think that if I go to school in Texas, I'll be married by 2L and have secured that nice associate position before my first kid comes along and the rest of my conventional, suburban life is summed up on the laconic tombstone: loving husband, father.

What is it about the myth of the American City? By attending a New York school I'll be more likely, not less, to take a compromise job to just live and make my student loan payments. (The total debt for staying at an in-state Texas school is less than half of NYC's). But somehow I think NYC is more exciting-spirited-meaningful than any place on this mottled globe.

My friends are all sick of hearing me talk about it. As am I, for that matter. I just wish I could flip ahead in the script to see what comes next.